"Hello -Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline":
- If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
- If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
- If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
- If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
- If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
- If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
- If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.
- If you are phobic, don't press anything.
- If you are anal retentive, please hold.
Question: What shouldn't you wear at a coffee bar?
Answer: A "tea" shirt!
2 dumb fishermen decided to rent a boat on a lake for their favorite sport. After fishing for 4 hours at various places around the lake with no luck at all they decided to try one more spot before calling it quits. Suddenly things started to happen, and they caught their limit inside of twenty minutes!
Paul said: Hey we should mark this spot, so next time we will know where to come.
Jim says: Good idea, and he took out a can of spray paint and made a large X on the floor of the boat....to mark the spot.
Paul said: Why did you do that, now anyone who rents this boat will know where to find fish!
Want more? Please visit: Jokes Galore